The Sci Fi Guy

The Day the Earth Stood Still. An exciting title for a movie created a half-century ago about our penchant for violence and a sinister love affair with Miley Cyrus headlines [wait, what?]… Moral of the story: Let’s all be good or the interstellar space consortium won’t let us in to the club.

Enter Keanu Reeves. As a socially inept alien:

“Whoa bro… Like, the Earth is special, and, like, all you humans are trouble ‘cuz you want to mess it up.”

Enter Jennifer Connelly. As a scientist with a widow-production bastard step-child. (This is true, I’m not creative enough to conjure that character struggle out of thin air):

“But, like, we can change. I won’t actually demonstrate how we can do it because that would require actually creating a plot mechanism to demonstrate that humans are capable of denying the fundamental issues that have raged on our planet since we learned we could hurt each other by hurling rocks at one another, but seriously… Change is totally our thing.”

And sayeth the Klaatu/Keanu:

“Oh. I see, like, your bastard step-son [sorry, I’m just enjoying that phrase too much] is, like, capable of hugging you because I, like, scared him and stuff. You can change. Good times. I shall sacrifice myself.”

-Fin-

There. I just handed you the movie. Don’t waste your time. It’s a B-movie in an A-movie’s clothes - and even that might be pushing it. Some of the special effects are movie-of-the-week quality (although the disintegrating truck is cool; but that was on the movie’s trailer so it doesn’t count). All this movie needed to save it was some sort of actual, believable method to show that humans really can change. The truth is that an alien visit might prompt us to work together, get over our differences quickly, and go star-hopping. But it’s not in the movie, so the whole thing falls apart. There’s really nothing redemptive about the whole movie - no standout performances, no saving moment of awesome visual effects. It’s just a dud. Don’t waste your time.

I don’t review a lot of video games on this blog. In point of fact, I’m not sure I’ve ever reviewed a video game on the site here. However, Battle Forge came across my desk the other day, and I felt it deserved a quick note.

I used to be a big fan of Magic: The Gathering. If you don’t know what that is, you’re either older than me (but not old enough to have kids that remember the 90’s), or were one of the cool kids that didn’t find themselves hanging out in libraries and around kitchen tables many an evening in your youth. That’s alright, I won’t hold it against you; but I was, and frankly, it was a great time in life!

Enter an heir apparent: Battle Forge. The game reminds me of a lot of other Real Time Strategy games like the Command & Conquer series, or Warhammer. The twist in Battle Forge is that it integrates a real-time, resource-based gaming experience with the card gaming experience (Magic-esque, not poker). You design your “deck” of cards that you’ll use to thwart your enemies. There are 4 main groups of power that you can tap from… Frost, Fire, Nature, and Shadow. You design your potential army through a deck management system, and then battle opponents online (or vs. computer in solo-play). The game really takes shape in the online system, where you can challenge others to combat in an experience that happily reminds me of my library-bound youth [Side note: I turned out cool enough]. There are even “booster packs” available which let you pick up more units (some more rare than others).

The fundamental problem with Battle Forge, as I see it, is the fact that it’s rated ‘T’ for Teen gaming. I’m not sure if parents even pay attention to those ratings when considering what games to let their kids play, but the experience seems like it ought to be well within the reasonable capabilities of a 4th grader. There’s a lot of depth here, don’t get me wrong, but this particular style of game might not appeal to the older, more advanced gamers looking for a more comprehensive RTS experience.

Ultimately, Battle Forge is a fun game, filled with surprising variation and nearly limitless opportunities to tweak your deck and fight the perfect fight. If you’re in the mood for something just off the beaten gaming path, Battle Forge may well be worth the try.

I’ve enjoyed Douglas Preston & Lincoln Child as authors in the past. The movie adaptation of Relic was probably their most notable mainstream success, but this author pairing has managed to punch out hit after hit of science-fiction meets ancient relics. They premise Indiana Jones-like stories with an FBI agent. Think Mulder meets Indy.

The Wheel of Darkness is one of their more recent paperbacks, and I picked it up to take with me on a quick trip out of town. Overall, it was a good read - a page turner with mystery, suspense, vivid sets, and an internal struggle between main characters. The ship becomes a central character too, as mysterious dangers emerge while steaming across the Atlantic ocean. Like I said, it’s a page turner. My only complaint in the book really centers in the fact that there’s too much of this book that feels like the movie Titanic. There’s the no-BS captain that feels archetyped from years of naval movies and books where the crew subverts the captain thinking that he’s out of line. It just felt typical.

However, don’t let a couple nagging characters bring down an otherwise enjoyable trip book. It’s not a spectacular piece of literature with some deep moral or moment of insight. What Wheel of Darkness will give you is a good, complete novel.

If you haven’t noticed by now, I take my jolly time getting around to seeing movies. This year I’ve actually visited the movie theater more than once! Imagine that. Anyways, yes, I finally got around to seeing Iron Man and decided I’d share some of my thoughts on the film.

First off, I’ll admit it… I liked it. For someone who’s grown utterly tired of the nonstop comic-book-turned-movie machine that hollywood has become, I had enough people let me know that this might be worth my while. And I’ll admit they were right. Iron Man is a very enjoyable movie. It’s slightly silly in almost every aspect, but nonetheless it delivers where it counts. There’s a giant awesome suit of armor. And the suit of armor kicks ass.

Personally, I think the secret to the movie is actually the casting of Robert Downey Junior. He’s not entirely plausable as super-mechanic and weapons guru extraordinarre, but he does fit the bill of Rolling Stone magazine cover party boy quite well. But more than that, Downey is a capable actor that can actually play the role and look like he’s having fun doing it. The cast of supporting actors and actresses fits the bill well, and there’s another great Stan Lee cameo (”Heya Hef, how’s things?”) that you have to pay attention for to even catch.

So, as the story goes, Tony Stark (Downey) is a weapons expert who’s made protecting America “cool”. Weapons rock - and Stark Industries supplies the US military with the best in the world. You know, to defend freedom and all that. But of course, lo and behold, Tony has a realization when he discovers (while being shot at by his own weapons) that his weapons are falling in to the wrong hands. And after saving himself from the evil terrorists, he returns home to say that his company won’t produce any more weapons and that they’re going to stop them from falling in to enemy hands.

Now, at this point, most rational business people would say, “Okay, let’s do some inventories, let’s figure out how to ensure arms don’t fall in to the wrong hands, yaddi yaddi yada.” But nope, Stark has his heart plugged in to a super compressed battery that’ll run a suit of armor for a little while… So why not build an even better suit of armor? And so he does, hence the title of the movie.

Overall, it’s a fun one. Downey gets several one-liners in throughout the movie, and his robotic assistant becomes one of the best sidekick’s I’ve seen in a superhero movie. It’s absolutely built for a sequel, so I have no doubt that this is just the beginning of yet another Marvel-based franchise.

Scifi-ness: 6 out of 10. There’s a holographic design studio that kinda rocks. Oh yeah, and the giant suit of armor.

Special-effects-rather-than-plot: Again, a 6 out of 10. This is a special effects movie - the action definitely trumps the dialogue, and most of it is CG.

Overall Grade: 7 out of 10. Worth the trouble to see it in theaters just for the fact that it is a big blockbuster type of movie. Oh, and if you like Audi’s, you’ll love the nonstop product placement (yuck - not at the Audi’s but just at the blatant commercial… Sorta like Will Smith’s I, Robot)

I struggled with the title of this post … It was a tossup between the shortened version of the official movie title (Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull), “George Lucas has lost his mind”, or “Indiana Jones has jumped the shark“.

Truthfully, Indy 4 was a let down, on several levels. I know this review is a little late, but if you haven’t managed to see Indiana’s latest adventure, all I can say is wait for the DVD. The rest of this review probably contains spoilers, so if you do want to see it and don’t want to be surprised, move along (lots of other great posts to peruse ;))

Harrison Ford is one of my favorite actors of all times, and much like Will Smith has been involved in a long line of great science fiction (along with action & drama, etc). Let’s not forget he’s the original Indy, and the original Han Solo. George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, also great creators of fine science fiction. But somehow all these people got together with rooms full of other intelligent and creative people and produced something that just doesn’t represent the Indy franchise well. And ultimately, much like the latest Star Wars trifecta, it seems like Lucas and company are straining to replace plot, character, and dialogue with fancy computer generated effects that aren’t convincingly real and aren’t adding to the story as a whole.

The Indy story opens at the “Area 51″ vault filled with all the treasures of the past - including a cameo appearance by the Ark of the covenant courtesy the first movie. Action ensues as Indy tries to keep our valueables from the Russians, including car chases, gunfire avoidance, and … oh yeah … a freaking nuclear explosion. Ahh, the 5o’s were great, huh? And Indy discovers that in the event of a nuclear detonation, all you really need is a Frigidaire model 205 lead-lined fridge and you’ll walk away from a nuclear blast unscathed - even after being tossed a kilometer across town. 50+ Harrison Ford doesn’t even get so much as a leg cramp.

The story continues as Indy gets caught up in a spy-game trying to outdo the Russians to get to the prize - a crystal skull supposed to reveal amazing powers of psychic abilities. The Russians are after it. Apparently the Americans aren’t. Shia LaBeouf channels Steve McQueen and is the heir-apparent to the Indy franchise. Poor kid. It’s a shame that River Pheonix died as a young man - he was already lined up to become the adult-replacement for Ford… Sorta like James bond never ages nor does Jack Ryan (of the Tom Clancy stories). LaBeouf is competent but so stereotyped that as an audience-member I don’t even care.

So, there you have it. Overall, if you were a fan of the Indy trilogy, just keep it that way. It’s a trilogy of movies that should stand by themselves. Don’t count this one in the tabulation - it’s the same series in name only. The adventure and fun of the first three have been replaced by a facade of it’s former greatness.

Well, thanks to a break in my schedule, I’m taking a little vacation this week. Of course no vacation would be okay without some reading - so I’m going to bring with me the Solaris Short Fiction Volume 2 that I’m still working on. My Volume 1 arrived a couple days ago, so hopefully I can get to that sometime soon this summer.

Hope everyone enjoyed a great Memorial Day weekend! See you in a week or so.

The short and sweet? This is a bad movie. It’s one of those movies where you really have to wonder - how did it make it past the pitch? let alone actually get cast, produced, edited, distributed, and finally make it in front of me? Aren’t there rooms full of smart people in Hollywood getting paid large sums of money to make sure that they don’t produce crap?

(Nevermind, I’m pretty sure said room and said people don’t exist)

Anyways, welcome to Fantastic 4, edition 2, Rise of the Silver Surfer. I want to preface this post by stating that I did not purchase FF4, rent it, or in any way actually decide this was worth a shot. It was on HBO. Late. And I wasn’t tired. And uhm… (working on further excuses)… I lost a bet. And Jessica Alba is in it. Yeah, that’s it! I watched it to see Jessica Alba.

The story begins with a planet being destroyed. A surfer flies away from it, en route to Earth. We’re doomed. Mr. Fantastic and The Invisible Woman (Alba) are getting married. And wouldn’t you know it - the Silver Surfer ruins the whole thing. What a bastard. Now it’s personal. There are two funny parts of the movie - one of them involves Stan Lee during the wedding scene (it’s always good to see a cameo).

Anyways, the moral of this review is don’t bother. There’s nothing near the entertainment value of some of the other comic book hero movies. Hell, I’d rather watch Ben Affleck in Daredevil than this again, and frankly that should say a lot. Hopefully we can all band together and ask Hollywood nicely to stop making this crap.

I’ll admit this much - I’ve never read a Harry Potter book in my life. I cringe at the thought. I watched the first movie (sans book) and thought it was pretty dull. But part of me really appreciates what that series of books has done - by turning on a lot of kids to reading. Just getting a child’s face in to a book these days seems like a daunting challenge, especially in the vastly more connected world of today.

Coming in October is another movie adaptation of a children’s book - The City of Ember. The premise is made of the stuff I love - mankind has lost the ability to live on the surface of Earth, and so has constructed a city (Ember) miles underground for mankind’s survivors. Only catch? The city only lasts 200 years. When the time is up, presumably, the planet will be ready for humans again.

Featuring a pretty good cast including Bill Murray, Tim Robbins, and Martin Landau (amongst others), this looks like a great flick for the scifi-minded children. I was fortunate to grow up with titles like Tron, Willow, The Neverending Story, and Labyrinth (thanks for creeping me out David Bowie), and I think Ember might be just the movie to capture the imagination for kids of many ages. I’m keeping my fingers crossed this earns a PG rating to ensure that even the young ones can give it a shot - and of course I hope many parents will encourage their children to read the book before going to see the movie. Nothing’s better than instilling in an entire generation the joy of saying, “Meh, the book was better.”

So to continue my updates on upcoming summer movies - (a) no I haven’t seen Iron Man yet, and (b) I’m really looking forward to the new X-Files sequel. Turns out since I last blogged on it Fox has gone ahead and updated the X-Files Website, featuring a standard-issue trailer. Lots of strung-together quotes, flashy action sequences truncated to amplify the thing, and of course, the X-Files music. It’s enough just to get the music, actually.

The plot appears to have something to do with maybe a telepath - someone that can see things that have happened or are about to happen. And thankfully we get a return of David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson - not to mention original writing by Chris Carter (the creator of the franchise). Of course, I guess franchise ownership doesn’t mean much from the reviews I’m reading about Indiana Jones 4. Anyways, stay tuned for XFiles 2, hitting theaters July 25th.

Traveling is one of my favorite pasttimes, but almost as much as the destination matters to me, the journey oftentimes provides me the unique time to actually open a novel and relax. Over the last couple years, I’ve realized that perhaps my favorite form of science fiction is actually the short-fiction style. Maybe it’s me being a greedy reader, but I enjoy the fact I can sit down and bounce from universe to universe, storyline to storyline, character to character, without necessarily having to spend hours to get the jist of what the author is trying to say. And more often than not, I catch myself appreciating how the author formulated his or her story in a way to make it compact yet enjoyable.

I wanted to share some impressions from the book that I recently picked up titled, Solaris Book of New Science Fiction, Volume 2. This is a completely original anthology of work, featuring a range of topics and writing styles.

The first story is iCity by Paul Di Filippo, an intriguing tale of high-speed, web-enabled urban planning. The most notable part about what Mr. Di Filippo did in this story is that he jumped right in to the story, then backed out with the background process of how a city can actually be upgraded and downgraded on a whim, and also managed to tell a pretty interesting character story as well.

The third story is The Line of Dichotomy by Chris Robertson, which features a war-torn planet on the brink of peace and terraforming. Perhaps I read this too quickly after watching the movie rendition of Screamers (a Philip K. Dick story), but the setup of the setting seemed damned similar. However, that doesn’t make it an interesting read, and the climax at the ending is enough to make you wonder whether or not we’ll ever be wise enough to give up violence for coexistance with each other.

Not to berate any of the other stories in this fine collection, but my favorite so far (and I admit I haven’t finished the book yet), is Sunworld by Eric Brown. This is definitely an author that’s been influenced by Arthur C. Clarke. It begins as one story and then slowly becomes another - with a climax that’s well worth the journey to get there.

I’d also note that Shining Armor by Dominic Green is another worthwhile story, but only if you grew up enjoying Robotech and other mech-related science fiction like I did. Essentially the story revolves around the notion that you should never underestimate someone - not everyone that appears strong is as strong as they appear.

Odds are I’ll finish the last few stories this weekend, and hopefully find some more good gems in this collection. I’ve already been so impressed by this 2nd edition that I went ahead and ordered the 1st volume from Amazon. Once that arrives, I’ll be sure to share those with you too.